Today I got some half way decent news. My gpa isn't going to be as low as I thought. My physics class only requires a 60% to get a C. I have an 80% after I actually checked my grade today. I thought I was doing much much worse. So in turn I was happy all day. Unlikely right, yes! Then I had a short class for athletic training, 40 minutes to be exact. Simple stuff really, just the body.

After all the goodness ensued the day I went on over to Jakes and played guitar for a few seconds. I ended up playing the Harry Potter theme song. Then it struck me, why not just watch a damn Harry Potter movie. So I did. By this time something was bound to go wrong. Jason as we agreed was supposed to get my chem book from Jenn. Jenn didn't give it to him.

So I thought well maybe I'll call her ass and she'll drop it off. No thats too much to ask. She said the half mile is too far out of her way on the drive home to her house. So I have to then go 15 minutes out of my way to find hers. Thats bull s*** and she's a b****. I'm glad I have no classes with her. f*** that, she was supposed to be a good friend but in all reality like I said before its just her and some old dude with his kid and her. She used to be cool but now she's like a b****y mom with attitudes about people. I can complain about her because she totally changed from who she used to be when she was a good friend.

Speaking of friends I'm still a little perturbed about my ex-lady and my friend hanging around together. It stresses me out because friends don't really do that. He knows I'm not over her. I don't think he knows what we've done together since we broke up. Or the big incident in the summer. No one knows that and it will be oblivious to everyone on here too.

The fact is I have a Chemistry test tomorrow, I'll do bad like always. I meet with my political science teacher. He doesn't believe in parenthetical references apparently. Yeah, I understand what happened though. I f***ed up and let someone help me with my paper. Oh well.

I like to just write. I don't like having to write for other people. Back when I went to high school I was voted to become an editor in my creative writing class because I wrote cool weird things, and I understood creative writing more so than most of the class. I've always had a journal. I've kept it in a Microsoft works document. The document its self is almost a megabyte big. I haven't written in it recently. I also keep a paper journal so I can sometimes even draw in it, and on top of all those now I have this wonderful site that no one I know uses, and also myspace.com.

But too many people check myspace and I don't care for everyone to know my business around there. More so family because they worry that I'm the anti-Christ. I'm not, I'm too easy going. I may just be lethargic, but who isn't every now and then. I may be more often than I should. But honestly, I like doing what I want to do. Its always how I lived.

Next I'll probably be like that guy from in the wild. Just move to Alaska and die when I want to go back home. The truth is in all of the clouds surrounding me few people care about me any more. Not many friends truly care, Jake probably and thats about it around this Saginaw area. Maybe Nick would care if I could hang out with the fellow. The last person would be my pops. More so because he is family than anything, he is the only one who doesn't care who I date.

Why should it matter who I date really? My father has the right idea, I'm not getting tied down early. Although it kind of feels like it sometimes which isn't good. Thats why the current relationship is kind of wearing on me. I should just stay single, have tons of sex, and contract the HIV and die.

I can't imagine death being completely terrible. Who would honestly want to live forever. It reminds me of a movie called no such thing. Its about a monster who can't die but wants to. It is kind of a sad ending, but I mean I don't think I want to live forever. A long time I suppose would be good, not forever. Sometimes I think of death as a strange thing too. If someone dies when they are old no one gives a dime because they are old. But if someone dies who are young people think of the potential. Think about all the old dumb f***s wasting their lives away doing squat never doing s*** in their life living off of welfare.

Speaking of lazy people I was reading an interview with Maynard today. He is a very intelligent person in my mind. He has both the left and right brain firing. For instance he admits he doesn't know necessarily who the best candidate to vote for is but he knows what s*** smells like, I think they were talking about bush then. Terrible president, and I didn't vote for him like some of the dumb asses out there. Just let our country go to waste. But the man also knows what he enjoys in life, whether it be a bar and grill, winery, or music (no particular order). Still he is actually making something of himself. I'll be lucky if I can accomplish anything.

I do have dreams. One of them is to actually start a band. Right now if I wanted to start it we'd have two to three people including myself in it. No singer or bassist. I'd invite Nick's brother Bill but he is having his own troubles in the world. I'd like to become some sort of rock start but not be a front man of it all. Right now I only have pride in being able to do certain things. Running is dying out of me because my body isn't always going to be in the best shape ever. Actually I think the peak for runners is around 30 years of age. I wonder if injuries have anything to do with it though. I've had more than my fair share. Once upon a time my dream was honestly to go to the Olympics. I worked hard, if I continued to work harder and harder I probably would have been damn fast.But bad coaching has its tolls. I've leveled off and even dropped in some times. However, I'm running a much faster 60 than I used to so I wonder what my 100 time will be. I imagine that I can do good things on a more creative spectrum. Incubus for example has the right idea, they aren't dumb and waste their money on stupid s***. They do what they love and people also love it, on top of that their side projects get interest because people love them so much for what they do. One day I'd love to be like that. I suppose that is why I aspire to be a little like them, while I want to maintain my own identity.

I'm not some stupid ass fan boy/girl who just says something like " OMG BB is so HAWT!" thats just f***ing stupid. Not to mention I'm not homosexual (I don't care if you are, what you do behind closed doors I don't give a rats ass). Still I appreciate what the band members do. They set great examples for people (EMA), and create. They don't create music, yes they create that, but there is more along with art and passion they give. Some day I want to be able to express what I do and be just as passionate. For now I'll stick to being an old college student running through pointless f***ing classes.

Peace