Saturday, December 22, 2007 - 04:28
funny funnny stuffffffffffff!!! check it outtttt!!!!
“‘Sort of’ is such a harmless thing to say. Sort of. It’s just a filler. Sort of - it doesn’t really mean anything. But after certain things, sort of means everything. Like after ‘I love you’ or ‘You’re going to live’ or ‘It’s a boy.’”
“When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws. Only catapults.”
“I like fruit baskets because it gives you the ability to mail someone a piece of fruit without appearing insane. Like, if someone just mailed you an apple you’d be like ‘Huh? What the hell is this?’, but if it’s in a fruit basket you’re like ‘This is nice!.’”
“I feel stupid when I write the word banana. Its like, how many na’s are on this thing? ‘Cause I’m like ‘Bana … keep going. Bananana … damn.’
“I like clothes, you know. I dig fabrics. One of my favorite clothing patterns is camouflage. Because when you’re in the woods it makes you blend in. But when you’re not it does just the opposite. It’s like, ‘Hey, there’s an a**hole.’ But when you’re in the woods you’re like, ‘Is there an a**hole out here?’ They look like trees.”
“One of my friends has a stutter and a lot of people think that’s a bad thing, but to me that’s just like starting certain words with a drum roll. That’s not an impediment, that’s suspense! What’s he going to say? Car?? …or Carnival?? …Carburetor!?!? Man…
“The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.”
“I think vests are all about protection. You know what I mean? Like a lifevest protects you from drowning and bulletproof vests protect you from getting shot and the sweatervest protects you from pretty girls. ‘Leave me alone. Can’t you see I’m cold just right here?’”
“I like the beach. I like to get there really early before everyone else shows up and take like thirty bottles with notes in them and throw them into the water. Then I wait for everyone to come to the beach and when someone goes to pick up one of the bottles, I go up behind them because when they open it there’s a note saying ‘I’m standing right behind you.’”
“I like sports; I like professional football. I like to get to the stadium and see the games live, you know. And I paint my chest before I leave the house. But I don’t have many friends, you know, so I usually just do punctuation and tack on a group already in progress. But sometimes it works out kind of weird because we ended up on TV one time and it said ‘JETS?’”
“An easy way to sound like a creep is to add the word ‘ladies’ to the end of things you say. It can be harmless too, but it just makes you a creep. ‘Yeah after college I spent two years in the peace corps, ladies?’ The more harmless it is, the more of a creep you become. ‘I broke my arm. I need help, ladies?’”
“My favorite fruit is grapes. Because with grapes, you always get another chance. ‘Cause, you know, if you have a crappy apple or a peach, you’re stuck with that crappy piece of fruit. But if you have a crappy grape, no problem - just move on to the next. ‘Grapes: The Fruit of Hope.’”
Graffiti… I don’t like graffiti, unless it teaches me something, you know? Like “Oh, that’s how Alex feels about Maria. I wouldn’t have known if I had not walked by there, thank you.” Graffiti’s the most passionate literature there is, you know? It’s always like “Bush sucks!”, “U2 Rocks!”. I want to make indifferent graffiti. “Toy Story 2 was okay!” “I like Sheryl as a friend, but I’m not sure about taking things further”, “This is a bridge!”, “That guy’s right!”
I heard this lady say “I love kids.” That’s nice, a little weird though. It’s like saying “I like people, for a little while.” “How old are you? 14? f*** off!” You can say “I love kids” as a general statement, that’s fine. It’s when you get specific that you get in to trouble. “I love twelve-year-olds.”
Replies for this Forum Topic
No problem. I got your back.
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"So f*ck yourself and f*ck this bleeding heart of mine"
THANK YOU
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I'll label him creepy.
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"For every one thing we're ignorant of
a thousand more things beat the maze"
Hey Marky
thats a really strange thing to say since that
was like your 1st post, and you already want to
meet someone here.
I don't want to label you, so I'll let someone else.
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i wanna meet you as well as the band..can you?
I know she is hardly ever here. I miss her
she's kind of quirky to
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What ever happened to Emily???
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"For every one thing we're ignorant of
a thousand more things beat the maze"
oh thats funny! thanks alot
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the warmth
He is hilarious.
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"For every one thing we're ignorant of
a thousand more things beat the maze"
i love demitri martin!
who would have thought i could come to this website and get TWO of my favorite things?!
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s*** happens when you party naked!
HAHAHHAHAH
I LOVE IT !
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" Someone Tried To Do Me Ache...That's Why I'm Afraid Of "
WTF?
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"For every one thing we're ignorant of
a thousand more things beat the maze"
spamatha
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Hello dear,
how are you today i hope that every things is ok with you as is my pleassure to contact you after viewing your profile which really interest me in having communication with you if you will have the desire with me so that we can get to know each other better and see what happened in future.
i will be very happy if you can write me through my email for easiest communication and to know all about each other,here is my email (lindabe37@yahoo.com) i will be waiting to hear from you as i wish you all the best for your day.
yours new friend.
linda.
All comedians end up being accused of stealing someone elses jokes at some point in their career.
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"You better choose your words carefully/ because I'm not your anything."
dane coook stole one of demetris jokes....all though he is funnny
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“I went into a clothes store and a lady came up to me and said “if you need anything, I’m Jill”. I’ve never met anyone with a conditional identity before.”
Dane Cook is my favorite. I love how he calls women brain ninjas and his jokes about relationships are so true.
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"You better choose your words carefully/ because I'm not your anything."
hes mah favorite comedian
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“I went into a clothes store and a lady came up to me and said “if you need anything, I’m Jill”. I’ve never met anyone with a conditional identity before.”
He is hilarious. Thanks for the links.
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"You better choose your words carefully/ because I'm not your anything."
http://youtube.com/watch?v=WGS7Q40Y4KU
heres some of his visual jokes. if the jokes i posted dont make sense they might with his "visual help"
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“I went into a clothes store and a lady came up to me and said “if you need anything, I’m Jill”. I’ve never met anyone with a conditional identity before.”
http://youtube.com/watch?v=rcwfdFT1ohE
heres the link
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“I went into a clothes store and a lady came up to me and said “if you need anything, I’m Jill”. I’ve never met anyone with a conditional identity before.”
I saw the pillow fight pi chart. That was hysterical.
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"You better choose your words carefully/ because I'm not your anything."
haha, some of them were ace.
You can say “I love kids” as a general statement, that’s fine. It’s when you get specific that you get in to trouble. “I love twelve-year-olds.” - is probably my favourite too, it is so true though!
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GET HIGH THE GREEN WAY!
Man vs. Man sounds so hot.
XD
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Jushiro Ukitake is mine.
yeaaaaa. its demetri martin. hes sooo funny. he did a flip book at one of his shows and he did a graph on pillow fights and it was like:
Man vs. Woman = fun
Man vs. Man = gay
Woman vs. Woman = awesome
Man vs. Pillow = crazy
Pillow vs. Pillow = crazy awesome (now thats a real pillow fight!)
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“I went into a clothes store and a lady came up to me and said “if you need anything, I’m Jill”. I’ve never met anyone with a conditional identity before.”
This is my favorite:
You can say “I love kids” as a general statement, that’s fine. It’s when you get specific that you get in to trouble. “I love twelve-year-olds.”
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"You better choose your words carefully/ because I'm not your anything."
Is that Ellen Degeneres?
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Lmao
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Jushiro Ukitake is mine.
wouldnt it just be soooo funnnny if you were driving under a birdge and you saw "toy story 2 was okay!" ?!?!?!?!?!!?!? i like the beach one, the fruit one, the seesaw one, and the stutter one. i never thought of a stutter as a drumrolll before!!!
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“I went into a clothes store and a lady came up to me and said “if you need anything, I’m Jill”. I’ve never met anyone with a conditional identity before.”
Some of those quotes were hilarious!!!
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"You better choose your words carefully/ because I'm not your anything."
I don't like the U2 rocks! quote.
x3
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Jushiro Ukitake is mine.
omg i had so many more qoutes but they didnt fit.
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“I went into a clothes store and a lady came up to me and said “if you need anything, I’m Jill”. I’ve never met anyone with a conditional identity before.”